I’m bent on writing an entry which for once articulates how I exactly feel without sounding like a delusional bitter drama queen but it’s impossible. I am far too under qualified to convey the jumbled trains of wishful thinking in my head into anything visual or comprehensive.
I think I’m extremely messed up I’m quite [...]

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one fine wire

I try so many times
But it’s not taking me
And it seems so long ago
That I used to believe
And I’m so lost inside of my head
And crazy
But I can’t get out of it
I’m just stumbling
And I’m juggling all the thoughts in my head
I’m juggling and my fears are on fire
But I’m listening as it evolved in [...]

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in days of yore

I’ve been really good I suppose. At least to the people I have the least tendency to loathe even if they’re begging for me to. They’re fortunate to have walked my earth. They chose to cross my path for they know that behind the devil face that I wear, there’s an angel wearing a [...]

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it’s beyond me

I’ve been playing hide and seek with my predicament that I’m really just running around on an unknown dimension as long as my mind has the mental capacity for it. I think I might’ve sprained my ankle from all the running it’s getting a little harder not to cry. It’s not just you, it’s so [...]

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warning sign

So my patience was tested again yesterday. Just when I thought things were much simpler after finally defining the distinction between friends and fiends on my MSN list, something happens and here I go again trying to rectify my mistake.
Morons here, People I don’t talk to there, Friends here, and Others. Of course it [...]

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the great barrier reef

So, if it is any of your interest, I hope the previous entries served as in interesting sneak peek into the life of a fabulously messed up almost 20 year old. Oh screw it if you think I’ve already lost my marbles, I secretly am beginning to think so too. Afiq would gladly be a [...]

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band aid covers the bullet hole

you know, I really cannot help but blend in with society in this vulnerable state I brought myself in. It’s so sad it’s almost funny.
So, I might just be losing my mind. Lying on state land staring at the moon and the stars (yes! Stars at the end of Yishun) with yesterday’s hair and make [...]

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deterioration of the flight or flight response

taking off from my recent problems has been a huge problem in itself. Not when my denial bubble is so weak and can burst with a slight pinch from the top. I think I had a near death experience about an hour ago, where I felt like I was clinging on to dear life while [...]

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Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me.

So there are 4 things in my life now that will get me by. Medicine, Nurul, being deluded into thinking that our recent misfortune was nothing more but an extremely realistic nightmare, and channeling every breath of my negativity to my usual bitter wit here. I’m still praying for a distraction.
For what it’s worth, I’m [...]

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bubbles!

dear bubbles,
according to aboutcats.com (or smth along those lines) you’re about 36 human years this year and I’d like to do a little tribute because I’ve been inspired by the heartfelt words dedicated to Ah Meng by The Straits Times last week. No don’t get me wrong, as much as I love torturing you I’m [...]

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