500

You know what, I think this is the best chance right now. i would be happier I suppose without so many restrictions imposed on me like I’m some kind of science experiment. This relationship is just getting so lame I don’t know why I stick around. I need someone who understands the importance of communication.

I need someone to understand why I get so angry and touchy when it comes to not calling/ not talking. I mean I think there’s no point denying anymore that we don’t talk, or at least hardly enough to sustain a workable relationship. I don’t want to be settling for this because it’s hardly even enough. I don’t ask for diamonds or extraordinary pearls from 500 feet under. I’m asking for the basic. I think communication is so basic that without it people just go crazy. Well not R, who apparently prefers a stoic silent life alone.

I just need to get this 500 dollars. It’s like a processing fee, an amount that will set both of us free so that we have nothing that will bind us together. I’m sick of our love and it’s so obvious love alone is not enough. Every minute of his unkindness is another ounce of my love into the Singapore River. I’m not the kind to take bullshit really. but of course, unlike most girls, I am very patient. I still take the bullshit anyway. I’ve just had with it today.

Oh and I wish to record this day, as the day as he called me the most selfish person on earth. Apparently, no one else is as selfish as I am. I will remember this for life.

I’m not the perfect companion I am perfectly aware of that but whatever, after all, I’m far too selfish to be considering that effect I have on people. Let me just live up to it!